Where Usage Goes to Die

The only time I tell the truth
lately is late at night
the search bar in my browser
receives my confessions
it's never just me, the world wide web
makes sure there is someone who
asked the same question
someone else who confides in a machine
instead of people
I keep trying, typing things I'm sure
will prove me individual
validate my locked face
and crooked spine, but after years of this
I still don't have a googlewhack

It is a Patterned Hoodie, They are Popular with the Kids

I walk in shoulders up
hands in my hoodie
chin on my chest
eyes on the floor
when I'm sure no-one's looking I scan the room once for
anyone I know
Hooray! I spot a chum, hide my relief
pull one hand out of my hoodie
and lift it, from the elbow
into the air in as nonchalant a gesture as possible
at the same time I bring my chin a few degrees up on the y axis
quickly
when I have completed this manoeuvre I say
hey
or
hey buddy
I like to introduce a variable into the most rigid social structure

At a Party

It was nice to see you
you look nice
What are you doing these days
you should wear that all the time
We have to exchange email addresses

Did you eat some turkey
hahahaha
Do you still play music
it's really smoky in here
When do you go back

How are your parents
I recommend staying with the casual thing
I was like Ah!
Back that the fuck up there buddy
and slow it down

My irises
Is everyone waiting?
that was almost good timing
this room is empty without a drum kit
all my stuff is over there

Answering Machines and Their Uses

Answering machines are for when one can't, or won't, answer the phone. They take a message from an incoming caller. That's it. An answering machine is not a vehicle for comedy. There are people in the world who are very well paid to be funny, and I imagine they do not have the bad taste to record a sketch and then not answer the phone so people can hear how funny they are. Also, an answering machine is not a venue to showcase the tooth-grating pitch and pronunciation of children. Some folks think it's cute that their offspring can talk. It's not. People have been talking for millennia. The puling of your brat does not impress.

Those are my two main complaints about answering machines. Hear me, world, and change!